SETTING:
Kitchen, mid morning. V prepares coffee and fruit. TV in the living room roars loudly clicking through channels.
“Oooh go back to that last one, that sounded interesting..”
***
“Before technology this was a part of our culture… I remember as a child – every night going outside to watch, the lights and colors. The Aurora Borealis.
“Tell us about the myth of the northern lights…”
“Oh yes this myth has been passed on through many generations, it is said that if you whistle really really loud – That the light will come down…
And cut your head off!” The Inuit woman gestures a neck slice with her hand, and motions a vigorous rolling motion of her head tumbling forward. “It means that we must respect the elements.”
“Do the colors have any meaning to you?
“Yes, all the colors have meaning – red means power and energy, green means growth.”
“And any of the other colors?”
“Yellow means bringing the light of day – which is much needed, because we have so much night here.”
*click*
“The secret is activated oxygen!”
*click*
~~~~~
Today is my last day of prayer with the tobacco. 2 American spirits. I look at the fire bird insignia printed at the base of the cigarette. I think of the Mexico journey, 6 years ago… Driving though the desert-mountains-tropics, making sure always to adjust the bird symbol upward, facing the sky. The pink cut glass ring I had on my finger would glint in the sun, creating refracted light patterns on interior of the car.
Tinkerbell!!! That’s what we used to say on the summer road trips of my childhood, when the light of the sun hit the metal of the seat belt in just the right way – Tinkerbell would dance on the dashboard.
~~~~~
I went out to the side of the house to sit in the sun, peacefully, with a tobacco spliff and a cup of reishi coffee. Allowed myself to look inside, feel the sensations that arise in my body, and just witness where I am at now mentally and emotionally around it.
The thoughts saying “you are bad” came to the screen, I heard them and let them be. I tuned the internal radio signal to another channel station inside me that says – “You are killing it gurl, you should be very proud of your work, keep doing what you are doing, step by step, piece by piece. You know what there is to do.”
Now grounded, I feel prepared, having created a structure to allow for a natural transition.
—
I noticed the sun begin to peek though the clouds, and I walked to the east side of the house – to bask and greet. I felt myself naturally raising my hands to the sky, breathing through the movements, tuning into the frequency of the tobacco, tuning into the prayer. With a last exhalation I moved to plant the tobacco point in the ground, and right where my hand fell there was a tiny little green sproutling.
I rose up to the sky again with arms outstretched, with a breath of fresh air I relaxed my hands down to the ground below me, my fingers pointing to another green sapling coming up through the gravel stone.
The lyrics of my favorite song sing to me “…And I can’t believe my eyes, flowers bloom on land so dry”
